Me

SeraphiChaos
Victoria School
VSRCCU
4th January 1989
Likes: Sleeping, dreaming, playing RPGs, Japanese anime and manga, angel wings and feathers
Dislikes: Noise, irritating people, stuck-up people

Archives

November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
September 2006
October 2006
December 2006
January 2008
February 2008

Links

Mark
Christopher
Deon
Aaron

Credits

Image got from Tenshi no Kimochi
Layout and the Angel Wings designed Yani from Frozen Rain Design
Blogger
BlogSkins
Ripway
Nic's Javascript Page
Thanks to Aaron for helping to edit the feathers and helping to upload my stuff


Cursor by www.Soup-Faerie.Com


Current song: "Tifa's Theme" from Final Fantasy VII Soundtrack

Tagboard

I'm feeling tired... What the hell, at 9.40p.m.

I'll be starting my Japanese classes tomorrow... I'm sort of regretting it now... There isn't much time left for me to prepare for cosplay... And I still owe a friend a picture.

I guesss it wasn't such a great idea to jump head on into things without thinking... But then, I always thought too much, and end up not getting anything done. And I always regretted that. I don't want to regret my actions anymore, but still I end up regretting them. There's isn't enough time for me to stand back and think things through. I've already wassted so much of my youth, I guess I don't want to waste anymore... But yeah, it makes me tired...

I guess I just wanted to say stuff, and there isn't anyone around that I can pour my woes out to... This blog is probably my last resort... Or perhaps its a way to rearrange my thoughts...

For some reason, perhaps its the smallness of Singapore that makes it so big... That everyone is so seperated from each other... Under the facade that we are of such small physical distance from each other, each person allows his/her guard to slip, and loosen their hold on their bonds. That a journey of a maximum of 2 hours can ensure a meeting, people become more relaxed with their relationships... Perhaps... It's just a thought, not necessarily true... Though I often imagine that, if I had grown up in a town of a much bigger country, maybe... it would have been much more easier to keep up with people around me... Their houses would probably be a few blocks away or something... A distance easily walked... We could probably hang out more often and stuff... Be closer... Form a stronger bond...

Of course, it's just imagination. I'm not sure how it would work out.

Well, yeah...


yeah, more dreams...

First dream was boring... Somehow everyone all in army, only left me... So I was off to buy my shoes, and well, I also not sure why I put on my school uniform just for that... So I walked around and met Hongjie and Benji... then I met Mark, and thenn Shaun... and it started raining... Well, even though all of them are supposed to be in the army, their hair all not exactly very short...

Second dream was much more... interesting... Started with me trying to fix 3 monitors to my computer... of varying sizes... Yeah, then Christopher called...-_- from art class in school, cos the teacher was late... Don't know why he would call me...

Yeah, for some reason, I ended up at some place... with a supposed family... -_- yeah, then we were having some party, and then strange stuff start happening, like a girl saw a corpse in the storeroom... Yeah, then I think some of the family memebers, mine i think, became demons and start eating the people there... Yeah, then left a baby, and I was quite reluctant to let it get eaten... So I protected it... Yeah, so the other demons were eating normal food, and the person who finishes last can eat the baby... or somehing like that... So I was paranoid and used my powers to form a wall of fire between me and them (the baby was with me)... Yeah... Since I was a demon of the saturn alignment, my powers were mostly of fire... So halfway my brain decided that I can teleport, so I was considering teleporting out of the place with the baby... And then I woke up... -_- Quite a fun deam...lol...


Just woke up... had 2 dreams... Cos I woke half halfway to pee...

First one was weird... I somehow switched body with ... someone... LOL... Too much korean drama...-_- Yeah... Than for some reason we decide to live back in our own houses, "for working purposes"... I don't know what that means either... Then, the person's mum came to visit me, and I give the "dao-ster" attitude... Well, cos she's a stranger and I don't really know what I should say... Then somehow my house the drainage screwed up and the whole house flooded... and then our lock somehow spoil, and we had to change the lock in the middle of the night. I don't know why my Dad keep insisting that we use a certain lock, when we have so many others spare... TUrns out that lock doesn't have a key, and somehow some weird salesperson pop out at our door and sold us some...key... that was... paper thin and about 3 cm long... And miraculously, it works!

Woke up at that point, and went back to sleep, to begin the second dream.

Second dreamn began with an... RPG cross love story kind of setting... Ok, more like I started off with the RPG, more accurately, Legend of Zelda, (3D too!), and i somehow dragged into the love story soap opera shit, which then drag me into the final ... plot of my dream...

Yeah, so there I was, happily jumping across computer rendered water and fighting off strange... computer rendered amphibian things than i can't even remember, and somehow I cam across this couple who entered into this hidden gate thing that was in some coral reef looalike wall... I knew of the gate (probably through the walkthrough), but didn't really go anf investigate... So the guy was like... "Gate, open" Then it really open...-_- Creative mind... So I followed them, and they didn't really care, and we reach some strange place that i cannot remember either... Then the scene shifts to... us, three in some hideout thing in that... strange place, and it seems those 2 are stuck in some love triangle thing and the other guy is hunting for them... Yeah and the girl had purple hair... and it was real... not a wig...lol... So the guy when to find the other guy to fight... And left me with the girl... Personally I don't like her, she looks and acts like a bitch... Thens she "suan" me but I ignored her. At that moment, her dad came busting in, with all his men and stuff... Turns out the bitch was a rich bitch... Interestingly enough, he did not misunderstand the situation and I did not get dragged into more weird korean soap opera love plot tragedy thingies... Well, we did get ordered to go to some... celebration thing, which was just.. well, doorway away... After pushing through the crowd which for some reason appeared at the doorway, the world changed. Ok, more like I switched worlds, cos it was night back there, and afternoon here... Surprsingly enough I wasn't surprised... I was more... wrapped up in the plot... Yeah so there was this celebration thing (something like NDP) and the Bitch's Dad invited kids there, up to junior college level I think... They sort of coordinated it with the schools... yeah, and there were tge Dad's men going around directing people... in a kind of... millitary way... So the bitch went to sit in a sort of queue thing, and I just wandered after her. The Dad's man in charge of that queue (He was in tee and jeans...-_-) asked me if I was in row A something, which I said I don't know and explain my situation ( which was I was clueless and wandered into this place and did not have a ticket yadayada). He pointed at his pocket, which undoubtedly stored a gun and said he'd blow my brains out if I dared fool around... Yeah, so I got suspicious (and freaked out, since I never got threatened to get my brains blow out before) cos... aren't this people abit dangerous for those kids...? So the smart me somehow deduced this to be some large scale terrorist/ mad scientist experimentation dunno what thing that involved little kids... ok and maybe teens too.. So I checked around, and I saw some old friends... After asking around, I got more suspicious, and I saw a flock of birds that was flying pass the sky... Interestingly, the Moon was freaking close to Earth and practically glowered down...And it was day time too... But who the hell cares, cos the more interesting thing was the birds. They satred flying around and making... shapes.. very specific shapes, though I coun't really tell... But after playing Persona 3, I could tell that someof the stuff they depicted was of Hindu gods, so I searched and found one of my ex classmate, who was a very religious person... Somehow he could understand whatever the birds were trying to tell us... (Cool, divine messages) and he started to blabber out the message like a fax machine... Wait fax machines don't blabber... but whatever... Yeah so he spoke too fast and I could only catch something like "doodle on the table" and " wait at" dunno where... yeah... Then he sort of disappeared admidst the crowd, and I went lloking for him again. Then I found some other guy, whom I mistook for the religious guy... In reality I would be able to tell them apart, but.. yeah... dreams... So I was desperately trying to ask him and he was like "what?" me... We took some tram service thing to the other side of the... stadium... and my foot got stuck in the door... And i noticed I was wearing hiking boots... the timberland kind... halfway up my calf... Perhaps i really should get those someday... In the tram thing, we passed by scenery of what looks like the places downstairs of my house... (bad english... but whatever...) And I saw dancers getting ready and chagning in public...-_-Lol, anyway, he ran and followed some group of people who also were running, apparently to the stadium... It started to rain heavily then, and my boots somehow became slippery and I was skidding... We ran past roadside stalls, where I saw many ex classmates, and ended up at some mini bakery thing... Turns out they were having some party, with the people working part time there... And they were all ponning the celebration... I was like "wtf" make me run all the way to this weird place... I was still panicking aout how to save the people... But then I saw the food.. There was some pancake thing, with some face drawn on it... So, lol, I decided to follow the "divine message" and wait there with them...

Then I woke up... and spent half an hour typing my dreams here...

I see references from korean dramas, from legend of zelda, from alien versus predator 2, from my current drawing... which caused alot of purple to appear... When I had switched body and opened the person's closet, it was all different shade sof purple...-_- not like there were much clothes in there... I really should finish my current drawing so that I won't get haunted by purple for life...-_-


I'm emo... T . T

I want to talk to somebody, but got no one to talk to... My art is somewhat stuck in the rut...Not coming out the way I want it to...

Reading and downloading dozens and dozens of tutorials... I don't want to start all over again...

It's damn tiring... I've been dragging this art piece along for weeks now... Everyday i wake up, draw, sleep, wake up, draw, sleep... I want to move on to others already... And now it has to screw up on me... I'm not even sure how to edit it...

I need a pro to talk to and learn from... but I stupidly entered the wrong stream, and all my friends are science students... What the hell...

This trial and error thing is damn annoying...

I feel sianed... The days pass by like water... The sun and moon go up go down go up go down, like free like that... Very waste time, I want to do something productive... I want to produce art pieces like a production line... Of course, quality art pieces...

Whatever...



I guess... if one can't understand oneself, no one else can...

EOY is finally over... Don't really know how to feel...

I'm stoning in front of the computer, watching the cursor blink... So much to say. So much that I feel. All kind of... knotted inside...

The process was very fun, very painful, very stressful... So much memories, made so quickly...
I'm afraid... to forget...
I'm afraid... all these memories would become nothing...
I'm so afraid...

But for now... I'll remember...

Waking up everyday and expecting people... Stessing over what to do for lunch and dinner... Laughing at the "gender confused" ... person and the one quater naked guy in the room... Hearing people shrieking when getting PKed by needles... Getting shocked by more Uncle S.A.M. theories... Pairing everybody up into a love pentagon... Putting on blue contacts... Teaching people to wear contacts... Doing confessions in The Confessional Team... Running from Sabrina... Hugging Bunny Ranger... Giving wake up calls... Trying on strange pants... Getting annoyed by the unpicker... Playing with hair... Stinking the house with spray paint... Eating instant noodles everyday... Whining about pimples... Hearing bimbo talk from nowhere... Acting cute with Aiysha... Whining about pimples to Jie Xian... Bogging Denise with more work... Shooting "arrows" at Huixian...

And singing " Endless Story"...
Monotone voices...
"Byakuya- True Light"...
Gackt...
Deja vu...
Ghost stories...
Strawberry Pocky...
Ichigo yume... pantsu...
Needing 4 people to shove me into my shirt...
Running simulations...
Mapling...
10 a.m....
10 p.m....
Gossiping...
Pouting...
"That's my arm! You can't have it!"
"Pull your pants down!"
"I will beat you, you bitch!"
" Ichigo pantsu!"
"Pantsu pantsu!"
"Ovan very ma fan"
" I woke up late."
" G.U. guys always kena the worst..."
"On the say itself we will still see the bloomers, then we will laugh on the day itself..."
" I want Yuuyami Suicide!!!"
" Tatoeba dare kano... I forgot the lyrics..."
" I think that would be very good for a scadal photo..."
" These are very addictive..."
"Pass the bunny."
"Where's the sissors?"
"Aiysha. Help."
"DEE!!!!"
"Can act more like a girl or not?"
"Wah... She curve shot again... Huixian! I think she got potential!"
"The sissors is sharp. Pass, don't throw..."
" Wa lau... Uncle S.A.M... you damn sick eh..."
"Auntie S.A.M."
" Let's meet at the interview in Square Enix."
"I never want to touch masking tape again!"
...

And scandalous photos and hopskotch and McDonalds and perfect figures and cloth shopping and shoe making and eating at the same place everyday...

And the perfect bedroom set from our costumes...

Pillow from Shino's hat...
Bolster from Mireille's hat...
Blanket from Ovan's cape...
Slippers from Haseo's shoes...
Nightcap from Tsukasa's hat...

And alot alot of Gackt solution...

Let's establish ROOTS quickly...

Today... no one came my house... feel so strange to be the only person here...
No more laughing... gossiping... shrieking... emo-ing...

Will miss this terribly...
Our anime has come to and end... And we did a twist in the OVA... Haha...
Let's do a sequel next time... Then you all can come over again... I think... Hehe...


.. ...
... .. . .
.... ... .. .
. . ... . ..

The end? Perhaps not.
The destination seems far ahead.
Moving as we are moving.

There is no finishing line to this race.
Quick, make a move.
Cos' that's what really matters, does it not?

I wanna return to the orange days.
When our smiles outshone the sun.
But these are only memories,
Fed to the engine that keeps us running.

Even when the rain falls, we can't stop.
Cos beyond the rainclouds, are the stars.
Quick, make a move.
Cos' that's what really matters, does it not?

Right hand with left foot, right foot with left hand.
Run.
For Pandora's box is opening.
Together we can break pass the darkness, to Hope that's awaiting.

Though we have dropped the key,
and fallen many times.
Let's laugh a little, and hold out our arms.
Cos' a little carelessness wouldn't hurt.
That's us, isn't it?
We'll pull through this, I'm sure.

For the pot is waiting,
At the end of the rainbow.
Let's enjoy the colours for abit, instead.
Because that is the real treasure, isn't it?

Even when the sun burns itself out, let's not stop.
It doesn't matter if darkness enshrouds us.
Six flashlights should be enough, no?

Keep moving, keep running.
The grains of sand keep falling.
It's greenlight for everything.

This is the proof of our existence.
This is what we are.
So let's go, and reach for it.
Push even beyond the Gates of Time.

What are you waiting for?
Quick, make a move.
Cos' that's what really matters, does it not?

....
.
... . .
. ... ..


Went to the school festival of Waseda Shibuya Senior High School with several members of the Japanese club today.

President was late. During the time we were waiting, people stared at us like we were some freaks on display... Who would wear school uniform on a Sunday anyway...

Took bus 51 from the bus stop when President arrived... Saw several Jap people board the bus with us...

When we finally reached the place, we realized that we were the only ones wearing school uniform... -_-" As we neared the gate, some of the Japanese students began shouting in Japanese... Most likely to welcome us, but we couldn't really understand... Then we realized that majority of the guests there... were Japanese themselves... Tensed, we headed for the reception table... Somehow, it seems like we were the only ones who wrote our names in English... The rest were all Jap... Then some Caucasian guy popped out, introduced himself as one of the organizers and offered me a handshake... Tried to dry my hand as fast possible, but to no avail... I watched in horror as his hand melted and splattered on the floor in a matter of seconds... Ok, fine, he just discreetly wiped his hand on his shirt, but I noticed anyway... We were then taken to another booth, where we had tour guides allocated to us... There were two girls and one guy. One of the girls was wearing a pink kimono.

They were super enthu... Could tell they put alot of effort into speaking English... They first thing whip out their papers and start to read from there. Lol, very cute. But still... there was always the awkward silence... They led us around abit outside, then brought us into the building...

I would say that their level of enthu, thrashes VJ's level of enthu during open house. Flat.

There were tons of people in kimonos and yukatas and obis and other costumes. The decorations owned. We got brought to the tea ceremony room first. The super solemn atmosphere was abit scary... But ya, other then that, its super COOL!!! They prepared green tea for us and the... I don't know what it's called, think it's mochi... Then there were two girls demonstrating the tea ceremony in front. Then they served each of us the mochi and bowed. It's like so.. don't know how to say, but... like... WHOA!!! kind of thing... They kneel in front of you, put the thing in front of you then look at you directly in your eyes and bow super low. When they serving the tea, don't know why they twist the bowl on their palms before the putting it down... I liked the mochi thingie... But when the girl said to eat the sweets, everyone all stoned and didn't there to make the first move. I think the girl was also... don't know what to do... Think we were supposed to eat the thing first, but like everyone atacked the green tea first...

Then after that, walk around abit and the tour ended. Then we anyhow wander about, abit scary when everyone is speaking Japanese and you don't understand, but still, just whack.

Can't remember the sequence of what we did. We queued for tickets to buy the garlic rice with egg, and it was very good.

The only other big event was us queueing to wear the Waseda school uniform and taking photos...

Somehow, all the Jap people have looks way above us... It was easy to diffrentiate who was Japanese and who was Singaporean... Fat people were like... a rare commodity there... And the guys could leave their hair super long too... Unlike us... So many of them ahd pierced ears too. You can also see all the cool looking clothes being worn.

Later in the day though, somehow, we couldn't get coupons to buy food... Don't know why... Their canteen was very cool though... They had a small stage in the front, and those short Japanese tables where you sit cross legged at. Oh, and their toilets completely thrashed ours... It had the same level of cleanliness as toilets in Takashimaya. Passageways were narrow though, and you are surrounded by people speaking in Jap as you try to squeeze through.

It was super fun, if you exclude the language barrier, and it has added to my determination to master Japanese!!! I want to transfer to that school!!! I'll probably ace English, and fail the rest of the subjects... Their school life seems very fun... but not sure if they are hiding all the silent muggers... Hmmm... want to compress the same level of enthu energy into the tiny booth that we will get for open house...

Whoo, so fun. Oh, too bad didn't make any friends...